This year I’m trying to be more positive, grateful and motivated towards life. Of course, not everything goes the way I want but that’s just how life is. Recently, I’ve stumbled upon Lavendaire on YouTube and I’ve been in love with her videos since then. They are truly inspiring and encouraging. She not only creates videos but also has a podcast on personal growth and life design, a blog and worksheets to practice mindfulness.
This week, I decided to answer one of her worksheets on self-discovery. Self-discovery is the process of finding our true self. Who am I? Am I pretending to be someone else just to be accepted? Is it okay to show my true colours or should I hide the real me to protect myself? These are some of the questions that I sometimes ask myself. I do believe I stay true to myself most of the times. I like the person I am but that does not mean I cannot improve some aspects. However, pretending to be someone else just to fit in society is a big bold NO for me. No one should hide who they really are. There is nothing worse than spending a lifetime being someone you’re not.
Without further due, here are the 30 questions:
1 – How do I feel at the moment?
At the moment I feel slightly happier than the past two days. After applying for a job at my university and being rejected I felt worthless but now I’m more encouraged and positive that I'll be able to find another job.
2 – What do I need more in my life?
I need more good vibes and inspiration.
3 – What would make me happy right now?
A slice of pizza would make me happy right now hahaha
4 – What is going right in my life?
University is going right in my life. I’ve got good grades so far and I’ve made some good friends.
5 – What am I grateful for? List at least 10 things.
✦ My family
✦ My best friends
✦ My body
✦ Water and food
✦ The home I live in
✦ My clothes
✦ Music, films, tv series/k-dramas, animes and books. My life would be so boring without these things.
✦ My university and course
✦ Internet and technology. Otherwise, I would not be able to keep in contact with my friends and family.
✦ This blog because it’s where I express myself better
6 – When did I experience joy this week?
I experienced joy when I visited London, Oxford and Cambridge with my family. I love getting to know new places with the people I love.
7 – List all my small victories and successes.
✦ Finishing school and being on the list of the students with the best grades along with Mariana.
✦ Getting into university.
✦ Learning languages and being able to speak English proficiently.
✦ Living in England which was one of my dreams since I was a teenager. Even though it has been challenging and difficult, I’ve learned so much.
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8 – What’s bothering me? Why?
Not being sure yet of what I career I want to work in because next year I have to do a placement.
9 – What are my priorities at the moment?
Find my first job. It has been difficult because I don’t have any previous work experience. I do feel slightly ashamed of being 20 and have never worked before but it’s never too late.
10 – What do I love about myself?
The things I love the most about myself is my kindness and empathy. I accept everyone for who they are and I genuinely care about the people I love. I try to always be there when they need me the most and I like to encourage them when they feel unmotivated.
11 - Who means the world to me and why?
My family, my best friends and the close friends I’ve made at university. My family loves me the way I am and always support me. Plus, they have provided me with a good life. It is not perfect but it’s enough for me. My best friends motivate me and understand me the best especially because we have the same age and sometimes we face the same challenges. I also love talking to them. We can have deep conversations and talk about nonsense. As for the friends I’ve made at university, they are the closest friends I have in England. I love how we come from different countries and have different cultural backgrounds but it still works.
12 – If I could share one message with the world, what would it be?
Peace and love are all we need. Let’s not hurt each other with words or weapons instead we should love one another. We are all human beings trying our best to handle life.
13 – What advice would I give to my younger self? (Do I follow this advice?)
Love yourself more and be more confident. All my teenage years, I’ve spent it hating my body and saying awful things to myself. I wish I could have trusted myself more instead of worrying about what other people might say about me. Even nowadays, I still struggle a bit. Sometimes I’m still my worst enemy and I’m still not as confident as I wished but I’ve been loving my body more now than I used to.
14 - What lesson did I leam this week?
It’s okay to be rejected. I won’t always win in life even though I feel like sometimes I lose more than I win. Instead of feeling worthless and miserable every time I’m rejected, I want to be more motivated and encouraged to work harder so that I can achieve my goals.
15 – If I had all the time in the world, what would I want to do first?
I would treat myself. I would probably go to a spa, hairdresser and nail salon.
16 – What’s draining my energy? How can I reduce it or cut it out?
Thinking about the future drains my energy completely. Therefore, this year I’m just trying to live each day to the fullest and not worry about the future.
17 – What does my ideal morning look like?
Drinking tea with some avocado toasts and then read a book if it’s raining outside. If it’s sunny outside, probably walking near the beach.
18 – What does my ideal day look like?
My ideal day would be spent with my family and best friends, explore the nature and take some cute pictures.
19 – What makes me come alive? When was the time I felt truly alive?
There are some many things that make me come alive. Such as when I spend a nice day with the people I like, when I visit new places, when I learn new languages, when my favourite artists release new music, among others. The last time I felt truly alive was when I went back home and I spent the day with my best friends.
20 – What/who inspires me the most? Why am I drawn to those inspirations?
My family, my best friends, music, books, films and series are the most common sources of inspiration. I normally can find inspiration in almost anything/anyone as long as I learn something useful from it.
21 – Where does my pain originate? What would need to happen for me to heal?
My pain originates when I look down at myself and believe that everyone else is better than me. In order to heal, I’m willing to become more confident and trust myself.
22 – What are my strengths? What am I really good at?
I am passionate about the things I like. I’m also determined, creative and open-minded. I’m good
at learning languages. In fact, I hope I can learn as many as I can.
23 – What is something I always wanted to do but was too scared?
Skydiving. It must feel so good to jump from a high point but I’m scared of heights, unfortunately.
24 – What is something I would love to learn?
I would love to learn how to play the piano and guitar.
25 – What hobbies would I like to try?
Photography, horseback riding and paintball.
26 – Where would I want to live in my ideal life?
Anywhere I can feel truly happy and comfortable.
27 – Where would I like to travel in the next 5 years?
France, Italy, Spain, Japan and South Korea.
28 – What can I do to take better care of myself?
Improve my skincare routine, eat healthily and practise more mindfulness.
29 – When have I done something that I thought I couldn’t do?
Taking the IELTS so that I could study in England. I thought I would fail because everyone said it was really difficult but I actually passed on my first try. I felt so proud of myself.
30 – At the end of my life, what do I want my legacy to be?
I want to be remembered as someone who inspired and fought for the rights of the population.
In case you want to know more about Lavendaire, here are some links:
✦ Blog
I hope you have a lovely day!
Jesika x
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