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2017 is coming to end in a couple of days and soon a new year is waiting for me. Time has passed by so quickly and looking back, I do have to admit that it was not the worst nor the best year of my life.
January started in the best way. In the last week of January, I flew back to Madeira Island for a week to visit my friends and close family. I remember being so ecstasy to finally see them personally. It had been half year since I last saw them, so I couldn’t wait to meet them again. Plus, I was happy to be back in the place I was raised. However, the week flew by rapidly and before I knew I was already sitting in the aeroplane on my way back to England. Saying goodbye was harsh mainly to those I love the most. Seeing my grandmother crying because she did not know when I would come back broke my heart, but I did my best to hold in my emotions. I hate crying in front of people.
Once I landed in England, my normal boring life was back again. In two days, the second semester of uni would start and my happiness was already gone. I felt extremely homesick. All the tears I had held in in Madeira started to stream down my face non-stop once I was back in my bed. I was missing everything. The comfort of my house, my best friends and my grandparents. In fact, the only reason why I always want to go back to Madeira is that of them. They are, alongside with my parents and siblings, the only people I can call ‘family’. Sad but it’s true. Everyone else is just acquainted.
In mid-February, I was in a boring lecture all by myself and the idea of creating a blog crossed my mind. I’ve always wanted to have a blog. Namely, in 2015 I remember telling my best-friends how cool it would be to have a blog in common, but we dismissed the idea because we were in the last year of school and, therefore, we had to study really hard to get good grades and get into uni. This time, my best friend, Mariana, accepted the challenge. I couldn’t feel more excited about this new chapter!
As March was approaching, I’ve had to make one of the hardest choices in my life which was change to another course. (I know that there are harder choices in life, but I’m still 19 so I tend to exaggerate haha). As I’ve written before (click here), I’ve always had everything figured it out in my life and I was so sure that I wanted to be a journalist, but my opinion changed. I wasn’t enjoying the course at all. Thus, I decided it was time to change before it was too late.
In April, I celebrated my birthday with my parents and siblings. I didn’t have any friends to invite. Plus, I don’t like to invite a lot of people it gives me anxiety. The following month, I studied for my exams. Even though I would transfer to another course I still wanted to pass and receive the diploma of 1st year of uni which I was able to receive in November this year.
In June, my classes have finished, and Summer was about to start. I can say that June, July and August were good months. Not only Mariana and I started posting on this blog, but I also had the opportunity to visit London, Southampton, Portsmouth and Paulton Theme Park. I’ve also watched some films, animes, k-dramas and I studied Korean as well. It was a chilled summer.
In September, my nervousness came back to life. Uni was about to start and this time I wanted to feel happier, have better grades and make friends and memorable moments. Luckily, I met a group of girls who accept me the way I am, and I have got good memories. In October, I went to the beach to see the sunset and to the game arcade. We also had a movie night at one of my friends’ house. In November, I went bowling with them and to two different birthday parties. I love how multicultural our group of friends is. It proves that people of different cultures can get along.
As for the last month of this year, I’ve spent most of the time working on my assignments that are due in January. It was a good month and I felt lucky to be able to spend Christmas with my parents and siblings and to have food to eat in this festive season. However, the news about Jonghyun impacted me in ways I did not know it would. I found out about the situation because one of my friends texted me the day he died and honestly I could not believe it. This proves that it does not really matter who you are. It does not matter if you are rich, it does not matter if you have anything you want in life. When it comes to mental health anyone can be a victim and I feel that it is important for all of us to talk more and be more open about this topic. If you feel worthless or sad if there is anything bother ing you always make sure to talk to someone. Your life is precious and you are worth it! Seeing the members crying on the last day of the funeral broke my heart. I cannot imagine what they were feeling. I hope that the members, the close friends, the family and the fans stay strong. Jonghyun, you worked hard! Thank you for everything!
In conclusion, this year had its ups and downs. I’ve felt sad and I’ve felt happy. I’ve had bad and good moments but in general, I’ve learned a lot and I’ve grown as a person. I hope that in December 2018, when I write this post again, I’ll be able to say that it was an incredible year in all aspects. I wish you all good health, happiness, peace, strength and success for 2018.
Jesika x
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