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A few weeks ago, Mariana suggested me to write this sort of post as my 20th birthday was only a few months away at that time and I happily accepted the challenge.
One week later, here I am sitting on my bed with my laptop resting on my legs as the snow drifts by outside. Even though my birthday is in two weeks, I am the type of person who likes to do things early than leave it to the last minute and that’s why I decided to start writing this post now. As I am looking at my computer screen, I’m thinking What the hell have I learned in these twenty years of life that is worth to include in this post? The first answer that pops into my mind is nothing. In my perspective, twenty years is not that much when it comes to learning life lessons and I am sure that I will learn more important and bigger lessons as I grow old. However, as I try to reminisce about my past, words start flooding my mind, making me ready to share with you the twenty things I have learned so far:
1 – Go with the flow: Everything comes at the right time. Don’t try to rush things because when you least expect it, it will happen. Of course, I’m not saying that you should sit down, do nothing and expect life to sort things out by itself. Life doesn’t work like that. What I actually mean is that you shouldn’t overthink about everything. This will only make you feel stressed and it won’t help whatsoever.
2 – Do what makes you happy: if you aren’t happy doing something then what’s the point of doing it? For me, happiness is really important in every single aspect of life especially when it comes to professional careers. At this moment, one of my priorities after I finish university is to find a job that I will actually enjoy. My history teacher used to say “Always choose a career that will make you happy because you will not see it as a job but as a hobby” and she is completely right. The career choice you make right now will be your professional occupation for the rest of your life so you might as well just choose a profession that will make you truly fulfilled.
3 – Be more positive: being more positive will make you happier. Being happier makes you more motivated to face life and reach any goals you may have.
4 – You don’t have an expiration date: if you are 19 or 25 years old and you haven’t had a boyfriend/girlfriend yet, this is not the end of the world. Throughout your life, you will meet different people and I am a 100% sure that you will find someone special. If you are 30 years old and you haven’t got married, it is completely fine. If you still don’t have your driving licence by the age of 25, it is okay. There is not an age limit as to when you can get married, take your driving licence, buy your first house/car or being in a relationship. You decide when is the right time and when do you feel prepared for these things.
5 – The hardships in life will teach you lessons: we all face adversities in life and, of course, no one enjoys being in a difficult situation. However, one thing I’ve realised is that those though moments will always teach us something.
6 – Cherish the people that really matter to you: appreciate all the moments you spend with the people you appreciate and are important to you. You never know when is the last time you will be with them so make sure you let them know how important they are to you.
7 – Be grateful: you should be grateful for the things you have because there will always be someone in a worse condition than you. We tend to take things for granted especially the little things and that’s why this year before I go to sleep I list at least 3 things I’m grateful for. I’ve come to realise that by doing this, I started to appreciate simple things like being able to walk, hear, speak.
8 – Be humble but don’t let yourself be deceived by other people: Be nice and empathic with others especially to people who deserve your sympathy. However, once you realise that they are abusing your kindness and that they don’t truly care about you then get away from them. You have to set boundaries. I believe you will find someone who is worth your time.
9 – Love yourself: life is too short to spend it hating yourself. Love your body, your stretch marks, your scars, love who you are. At the end of the day, your body is what keeps you alive so spend time nourishing it instead of complaining.
10 – Life is not a competition: it doesn’t matter who gets the best grade, who has the best job or who gets the driving licence first. When you are about to become an adult, you may feel the pressure that you can’t fall behind your friends. However, you need to realise that what may be a priority for them at the moment is probably different from your priorities. We all have different goals that we want to accomplish at different stages of our lives so there is no point competing against each other.
11 – Don’t expect others to do things for you: if there is something that you really want to achieve in life, you have to work hard for it. You can’t just sit down and wait for others to do it for you.
12 – Don’t be materialistic: if you have the money, you have all the right to buy whatever you want and you should not be criticized for the way you spend your money. However, you should not live in this constant cycle of buy things for the sake of showing off or to feel that you fit in the society.
13 – Cut people out of your life if you think it’s necessary: cut everyone you think it’s not bringing you happiness and it’s only stressing you out. This includes friends and even family members. You have the power to choose who you want to be surrounded with.
14 – Don’t compare yourself to others: it’s pointless to compare ourselves to others because we all have different personalities and we all deal with life in different ways. Also, we all have strengths and weaknesses which means that there is no one better than others. I think I have read this somewhere and it completely true: instead of comparing yourself to others, try to be better a version of yourself.
15 – Don’t strive for perfection: first of all, we should ask ourselves ‘What is perfection?’. We all have different definitions and opinions when it comes to perfection. What is perfect for me may not be perfect for you and vice-versa. Therefore, there is no point in striving for something that will only make you feel stressed and overwhelmed. You should instead strive for improvement.
16 – We all have a purpose in this world: I am that cliché type of person that believes that we all have some sort of purpose in this world. Your purpose doesn’t have to be huge, as an example, it may just be make people happy. That’s why your life matters. Every single individual in this world was born for a reason.
17 – We learn lessons by making mistakes. However, doing the same mistake over and over again is your choice. Doing mistakes is part of our nature as human beings. Those mistakes teach us lessons because there are always consequences. Nevertheless, if you decide to keep doing the same mistake that means that maybe you haven’t learned anything or that you simply don’t care about the consequences that can affect not only you but also others.
18 – In life you never fail, you learn: Some choices that we make in life may not be the best ones and sometimes we may not be happy with the outcome of those choices but don’t see those moments as failure. Michael Jordan once said “I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”
19 – Don’t judge others: an individual cannot be defined by the brands they use, the clothes they wear or the lifestyle they have. We are more than the superficial things we own. Judging others without truly knowing the person should be unacceptable. A person may seem happy on the outside but on the inside, they might be struggling. Instead of judging, listen to them and get to know them better.
20 – Don’t plan your future: the future is unpredictable. No matter how hard you try to plan your future, things may not go the way you want. Also, if you keep thinking about the future, you forget to live the present and now is what actually matters.
To be honest turning 20 scared me a little bit. Twenty meant more responsibilities, more duties and bigger changes in life. Now that I’m 20-year olds, I’m trying to see things from a brighter perspective. I’m still young and this is a new chapter in which I will learn more lessons and I will become more mature. Also, age is just a number. Every year we get old physically but we can still be young mentally.
I hope you have a lovely day!
Jesika x
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