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A year ago, I went to Lisbon to begin my first year of University. Namely, I started the course of Law at the Faculty of Law of Lisbon.
To be honest, I was very excited, a little nervous because I was going to live in a completely different place and didn’t know anyone, but more enthusiastic. I spent all summer imagining my new life in the capital of Portugal, the famous and beautiful city of Lisbon as well as wondering how was I going to react to University. Little did I know that things in my mind couldn’t be further from reality.
I did all the research of my course: all the units, the schedules, days to do the inscription… I felt prepared when the day of my departure came.
In the day of the inscription, some older students of the Academic Association were in charge to do a guided tour of the Faculty to me and a little group of other freshmen. That was the moment that, seeing everyone laugh and socialise, I thought “What was I thinking that was going to be living here? Different place, yeah, but I am the same person, an introverted girl who doesn’t interact at all!”. I made the mistake of unburdening this to my mother and spent the rest of the day listening to the same old speech that I must be more social ahah (just for you to know I am the complete opposite of my mother, she speaks with everyone if she has to). Anyway, a few days later was the Praxe, when all the freshman are subjected to the orders of the older students. This was one of the things that I was truly nervous about, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go. I did practically everything that they remembered to order: dance and sing the Bailinho da Madeira, do push ups, run and yell I don’t remember what because I was laughing at something and that was not allowed (making me want to laugh even more), among other things… Praxe is supposed to be the day to meet new people in the activities, but I had just talk with one or two girls and I was regretting my choice to go. This until the celebration that took place in the afternoon. The ceremony was interesting and different so I liked that part.
With that said, classes started and with that a routine, which for me was good. I had a pretty decent schedule in my first year: classes all morning and free afternoons. However, it was rare the afternoons when I forgot the stress of college. I mean, every time someone older asked me “what are you going to study?” and I answered “Law” the person would do a weird face and tell “wow, that is a lot of studies!”. I believed, Law is not an easy course, such as many others, yet one thing is hearing this kind of comments, and another one is living the situation. For a single unit, there are so many books, so many hours of study, so many articles that have to be analyzed that remit to several others… There’s no possible comparison between the study that you do for School, in contrast to the one that you have to do in University - you can’t just take a few days before the exam to review the subjects, it is for sure a daily study. Moreover - this being what I struggled the most this year - it seemed like all of my efforts, all the hours I spent studying, were not rewarded. Sincerely, I had constantly the feeling that is not enough. I asked myself so many times what was I doing wrong. More and more, I was losing confidence in myself. That was, and still is, terrifying, being confident in my intellect was one of the things that kept me going, so when even that was called into question I could not be more lost.
Another key thing to remember is that time is such a limited resource! I learned this in the first semester in Economy, and I never forgot. Time is a property, properties are limited. In my point of view, there was not enough time to do everything.
Despite the stress and all my insecurities, not everything was bad. For instance, University made me grow up mentally, there is a lot of responsibility and this time I didn't have my parents to do the adult stuff. I also met new people and lived new experiences. I went to some parties and had a lot of fun. Likewise, although they were far away, I could always count on the support of my family and my best friends, even if I was proud at times and did not tell them my concerns (because I did not want to upset anyone, and there are worse problems) I know they would always be there for me.
To sum up, overall my first year in University was a little bit of a mess. But on balance, the first year is always the toughest one, right? I had a good amount of incredible moments that I will never forget. In the day of the Praxe, a guy said: “This will be the best day that you’ll have from now on”. I did not understand it at the time, but I was noticing throughout the year. It’s a hard course. But every time I question myself in what did I get myself into, I remember what I want and what my goals in life are. I want to be a Lawyer, that is my dream and what I want to do for the rest of my life. Besides that, once a teacher said to my class that “University is the best time of our lives” so maybe this new year will show me that, who knows?
Therefore, remember this: always believe in yourself and don’t put your abilities in doubt. Either at University, work, in any situation in your life, even though it seems that there is no solution, you are strong and you will get through it. If you are dealing with too much stress in one moment and your only desire is to throw away all the books or the chair, like me in several dark days, take a deep breath and abstract yourself for at least an hour, then return to study. Go and talk to your family, or share some jokes with your friends. Things will eventually get better.
My parents always say: “If you work hard you will always be rewarded”.
Personal
Good luck to everyone in this new school year that begins! I sincerely hope that you achieve all of your goals and dreams!
Nb: I don't own the picture above.
Mariana Nunes
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