Good afternoon! In today’s post, I want to tell you about my experience living we can say almost by myself. As you may know, I am from Madeira, however, I currently live in Lisbon since I wanted to continue my studies and I was accepted in the Law Faculty of the Portuguese capital.
First things first, I should clarify that Madeira has a University but unfortunately, and in my opinion, the major part of the courses is in the area of science and technologies, economy, tourism… People from Humanities, like for example myself and Jesika, don’t have lots of options in our Island so we have no choice but to apply for other Universities in Portugal (or in other countries) in order to pursue our goals in the course that we wish. To be honest, if you had asked me a few years ago if I wanted to stay in Madeira after my last year at School I would answer with 100% sure “Of course not! I want to leave this small and boring place! I want to be independent! Go to parties and have fun without asking for permission! This little bird has to fly!” … If you knew the number of times I wished I could go back in time and punch myself… Anyway, is in these types of situations that sometimes you only think on the good side of the thing, you don’t bother to wonder “What about the rest? The daily tasks that you take for granted when you are with your family? The responsibilities?!”.
Namely, I am in Lisbon for a year now. When I came here, I was with the intention to stay in a student’s residence, yet they were all occupied. Believe me, you don’t want to have the responsibility to have to look for a house in Lisbon in early September, it’s a complete chaos since you won’t be the only one! To make matters worse, I had come here on vacation with my family before, but from there to know how to orientate in the city is completely different. I and my mother (who came with me to handle things the first week) were completely lost. This said, finally we met someone who presented us to the person with whom I presently live. I have a rented room in this apartment and the best part is the location: centre of Lisbon and with subway close.
To get back to the point, although I don’t live alone I am a very shy person, and despite don’t have any reason to feel this way - because everyone is really nice and kind - I can’t feel like I am at Home. Basically, I just do not feel comfortable. Most of the times I think that I am like an outsider in the family of this house so I opt to stay more in my little corner.
Subsequently, despite this, I have to do my life and that brings me to another topic: the daily tasks. First, when I left Madeira I had no idea how to cook (my mother spent the whole summer arguing with me that I had to learn, yet I was stubborn and being honest with you I was not interested in learning), so how do you think that this worked out for me? Yup, a disgrace. I spent the first semester calling my mother when I needed to cook with the intention of hearing her instructions (I am pretty sure she must have sent me to a very ugly place mentally ahahah!) and even with her help I almost burned my meals one or twice because I got distracted by something. Today the situation is not that much better. Next, the laundry. This was another of the many things that I didn’t pay that much attention when I lived with my family, I helped but for what I see now, not enough. Cleaning is not a problem. My parents are very strict on this task so I grow used to it. As a result, my room is often presentable and organised. Then we have the shopping at the supermarket: I hate that, I always had. To my displeasure, is something that has to be done once in a while. Lastly, important papers or affairs: in Madeira, I didn’t have to worry about documents or anything related to that. If something was needed, most of the times my mother handled the situation. On the contrary, here in Lisbon, I have that responsibility. In the end of the day, what is the conclusion? We only give credit to something or someone when we lose it. My mother always told me “One day you will value”. Today I understand. That is why I say that now I am undoubtedly more mature at certain points.
Moreover, leaving away from Home can be very lonely. I have done some friends here, however, I can’t help but constantly feel that if I had my best friends with me it would be a lot better. A completely distinct experience. In addition, my family is very united and I often miss seeing comedy movies with my father and laugh until we cannot move, quietly drink my morning coffee with my mother or even listen to her constant sermons, watch TV Shows with Raquel and to hear Catarina tell how her day went and her stories. I cannot leave behind my cat as well, I miss playing with that little big cuteness. I talk with my family and friends on Skype but Is not the same thing. Not only that but also arrive home from University at the end of one of those really long days and don’t have the unique comfort of the ones that you love can be hard.
Likewise, I have to say that my course doesn’t help sometimes. Like I said in my article University – My first Year (click here), Law is quite complex and demanding. There are days that I just get home, go to my room and start studying. I consider myself someone who deals reasonable with stress, but in the worst days, I just wished I could catch a flight to Madeira and be with my family (I cannot do this unfortunately, I just stay where I am and try not to punch a wall). With this, what I am trying to say is that the support and concern of your loved ones are extremely important and must be valued.
To sum up, there are good days and bad days. (Of course, Mariana, tell us something new!) Living in Lisbon taught me to appreciate some things that I liked but never thought I would miss so much and definitely made me more mature as I previously stated. I am obviously more independent and most of the times I do things as I wish. Lisbon is a beautiful city and I love to walk through the downtown, contemplating the gorgeous view (although I have to admit that I do not even know half of the city). The people that I met are very pleasant and are permanently ready to help if needed. I am away from my family, yet I stay in contact with them every day. I know that they will always be there for me, even at my worst. Same for my friends, we try to talk regularly by messenger, and as you probably know if you read the article of How we keep our friendship strong (click here), I and Jesika try to do video call at least once a week. Living away from Home is an experience. You will learn a lot about yourself and gain responsibility. Finally, about the daily tasks… if you are like me, you’ll learn how to cook… eventually… one day…
I thought about ending this post with some serious inspirational quotes, but I found funny and sarcastic sentences that I like more so I will use them:
“Another fine day ruined by responsibility” (Me almost every single day ahah!)
“I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell” (This one does not have much to do with the topic, but it has to be for all the times that I annoyed those that I like the most with my character via Skype.)
“My level of sarcasm has gotten to the point where I don’t even know if I am kidding or not” (Again, me every day.)
“Making mistakes does not mean you’re a failure. It just means you’re trying and learning in life.” (This one is serious, never forget this.)
The last one:
“Wish we could turn back time, to the good old days
When our momma sang us to sleep but now we're stressed out”
Do you recognise? Is an excerpt from the music of Twenty One Pilots - Stressed Out. One of my favourites in fact, maybe because is so true and has such a deep meaning.
Nb: I do not own the picture above.
What about you, reader, are you living away from Home? Away from the ones that you love?
I hope you have a lovely day!
Mariana Nunes
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